A mother shares a story about her struggle with hate. Specifically, she is troubled by the thought that she hates parenting and, possibly, her preschooler.
She’s not alone.
Living with someone from birth to high-school graduation, I expect to feel every emotional state.
Hate, anger and rage are powerful, and unpredictable, emotions. In Boulder County, they are socially taboo when directed at children.
Therefore, as a parent, you’re likely to remember when you feel these emotions around children.
You are feeling everything.
You are remembering hate.
What’s your default emotional state?
Thinking about the five people closest to me. We default to…
- Tears (flight)
- Confrontation (fight)
- Fear (flight)
- Emotional shutdown (flight)
- Anger (fight)
Within a preschooler, I can see all of the above within a ten-minute span!
Combine a rainbow of powerful emotions… with a lack of sleep… it’s easy to drop into my default emotional state.
In my case, I tend to pause and address later, when the energy has left the situation.
Take stock of your consumption of external emotions.
How do the above make me feel?
Replace the negative with self-care.
- Are you sure?
- Are you sure you are feeling hate?
- Are you sure your child is the reason for the emotion?
Frustration at my lack of skill can feel like anger.
How do skilled teachers feel about my child?
Negative emotions (hate, anger, rage) indicate a need to up-skill for the essential and out-source the non-essential.
Your mommy-guilt might be leaving you tapped out.
Being tapped out means your children, and your marriage, never see your best self.
Tapped out is a tough way to spend a decade.