Consider the purpose of your marriage.
Why did you get married?
Why stay married?
I am in my marriage for Lifelong Companionship
It is an overriding theme to everything.
Do my actions move me towards my desired outcome?
Three habits I seek to create.
#1 => Tell the truth, slowly – foremost to yourself, also to each other.
If your life can’t handle the truth then change the way you’re living.
Being open with each other can be awkward but it’s better than the alternatives.
I always overreact in the short term, so I need to speak my truth slowly. A 24-hour time delay is usually sufficient to avoid an unforced error.
#2 => Do more than your share – I’ll illustrate with a story. For the last year I’ve been getting up early, working out before the kids are awake and keeping the hammer down for a couple hours once the house gets rolling. I was kinda looking for an “attaboy” or a “you’re incredible” from my wife. Instead I got…
You’re not lazy.
Reflecting on my “lack of laziness” indicated:
A – our spouses do more than we realize
B – because of “A”, your spouse might think you are lazy
Visible housework is one of the best things we can do to correct misinformed opinions.
#3 => Never rip your spouse – in public, in private, in your mind. A habit of bickering will not serve you well.
Negativity drives good people from our lives. Bring yourself back to the goal… lifelong companionship.
Talk like everyone is in the room.
You are going to think that you need to get your own way.
Our minds spin all kinds of stories about how our lives will be “better” if we get our way.
Pay attention, most disagreements are a habit of taking the other side.
Lifelong companionship is far more valuable than short term victories.