If it turns out you brought home an Alpha Babe then you’ll know for sure by your child’s second birthday.
With our first kid, the challenge we faced was our cluelessness lived in a black box. We were unaware of how our lack of skill was making our lives FAR more difficult.
More than worrying about toilet training, speech development, when the little fella is walking… the #1 mission is early socialization.
If socialization fails then then life is going to remain very challenging for decades, rather than years.
Our approach was a minimum of three years at a well-established preschool, with wise, veteran lead teachers (Alaya).
We protected our marriage by carving our time for ourselves — hire patient, firm, college aged women.
If you score low in assertiveness then don’t panic!
Be cautious of falling into a fantasy of fixing the aggressive nature of your little one. We were a lot more successful with teaching how to channel their drive in a socially acceptable manner.
If you score high in assertiveness then resist the urge to attack your kid!
You won’t like the person that comes out the other side (you or your child).
Don’t tolerate other kids taking proxy-revenge on a challenging kid.
Five Commands my kids learned very early…
1 – Baby on the ground (hand flat, palm moves toward ground)
2 – Easy, Tiger, Easy Tiger (palms facing out, gentle pushing motion)
3 – Breathe with me (exaggerated breath, shoulders rise and fall slowly with a smile x3)
4 – No hit (index finger points up)
5 – Slow it down, Slow it down (same as Easy, Tiger)
Of course, I needed to be working on these in all areas of my own life as well!
I still use these commands today… “but Dad, he’s not a baby anymore…”
I’ve had ZERO success at changing the nature of my kids.
I have had a lot of success at:
A – keeping my exposure below the point where I start to dislike them
B – using the buttons they push to improve myself
C – improving my marriage and home life