‘Do I really have to have an opinion?’, I replied.
‘Come on, play the game’, she said.
‘Ugh, ok’, and I gave it a shot.
When my first kid arrived, I quickly learned that insanity would be the result if I didn’t learn to let go.
I also saw that constant correction would ruin my relationship with my kids, and make me miserable.
This was a big change from my 20s, when my game was to compete on all fronts, all-the-time.
So my daughter taught me a powerful lesson for becoming more effective.
Be aware that…
- The more opinions I need to have
- The more memories I need to hold
- The more things I think about fixing
…the more energy I spend thinking.
…and this thinking-energy takes away from my doing-energy.
Creating a habit of not-knowing takes practice. From our earliest memories, we’ve been rewarded for knowing, for remembering.
Like a quiet kid at the back of the class – we can be scared to admit that we don’t have the answer.
So here’s what I told her.
I’ll tell you what I know.
I know that we overstate our importance in the world.
I know that I’m prone to fooling myself about the importance of my opinions.
As for the aliens, E. O. Wilson has a section on them in his most recent book and I saved some energy by defaulting to his opinion.