One of my coaches, Mark Allen, made the observation that to get our race in order, we need to get our lives in order. Racing, like any other form of stress, can strip away our filters.
Mark’s advice is an example of an athletic lesson with a wide application into everyday living.
We share a desire to be strong. This desire is expressed by building up and adding to one’s self.
- Adding size through muscles, bulk, heels, boots
- Adding tension from taking on obligations
- Adding palmares from victories
- Adding possessions and external signs of power
I’ve done it all: cowboy boots; academic honors; powerlifting; fancy cars; big houses; jewelry for my wife…
Adding, adding, adding.
The list above is about our external life. Building up is a projection of strength, but it isn’t true strength. I think Mark is pointing us towards something that might become resiliency. An integrated life where we are in harmony with our external projection and OK with all aspects of our experience (strong/weak, happy/sad). This harmony lets us cope with the tests of our races (and lives).
Perhaps you’ve had a situation where you tell yourself to be “strong” but a more accurate description is a fear that our inner storm might show through. Having completely fallen apart a few times, isn’t that big of a deal. I don’t want to make a habit of it but I also don’t want to spend my life holding tight and letting the pressure build within me.
When tired, when grieving, when sick, when stressed… life has a way of stripping our filters away.
But how can we process our inner life?
- Exercise works well for me – moderate effort, repeated movements
- Others prefer meditation – cultivating stillness and observing one’s mind
- Many find the combination of breathing and movement in yoga to be effective
- Thrill seekers tend towards extreme risk and peak experience – works for them but doesn’t work for the larger goals of my family
If we keep peeling away our layers then we might find that the joke is on us.
Ultimately, every individual unravels.
It can be terrifying when we bump into this reality. You may have experienced this fear through the death of friends, parents and grandparents.
Ultimately, we might find comfort in defining resiliency in terms of something larger than ourselves – family, legacy, lineage, tradition.
Cultivate courage by staying open towards little fears.